Epping Foresters Cricket Club

We are all hoping for a season of instantly forgettable mediocrity from the fat lad as this will represent a significant improvement from recent campaigns. Now that his eyes have been fixed he will have no excuse for poor performance except the blindingly obvious lack of any ability. Sadly, not blinding enough to anyone who has the misfortune to witness his dreadful efforts.

A new edition to the Stags, having recently joined from the dark side of Epping (we won't mention that though). After finally seeing some sense, Tom has plenty of promise to offer, although he keeps informing his captain that he bowls better when the skip isn't present. Make of that what you will. Mr Davies is also an Orient fan, so seemingly used to pain. He will fit right into the changing rooms with Frenchy and his 'banter'. 

A permanent fixture and ever reliable batsman in the Sunday fold, Chris is a joy to play with. Taking no prisoners in the field and also a proud member of an All-Nuts top, we will let him off for always turning up 5 minutes before the start time. Even injury this season couldn't stop C-Day from limping through those quick singles at the top of the order

Another season of forcing begrudging individuals out for a second day of cricket and hes back for more! G.Day still looks remarkably like his brother and has somehow managed to avoid the grumpy gene that his father possesses in abundance. Gareth was also able to open the bowling on a couple of occasions, the mark of a true off spinner. He also finished with the fantastic stat of bowling 69 overs throughout the season. Whether this was intentional we will never know...

Better known as Daisy, Peter is a true club veteran. With the fingers to prove it, Daisy used to keep wicket for the 1st team back in the day, but is now one of the clubs groundsmen. This position has allowed him to fully embrace his favourite past time of moaning about literally anything he can, particularly to the poor captains in charge of ruining his beautiful pitches. Daisy is also famous for his speech whenever he enters the bat with a younger player: 'Anything that you think is a three is a two, a two is a one and don't even bother with a quick single.' That is until he drops it down first ball and hurls himself down the wicket with a cry of RUN. Also a specialist grenade hurler, Daisy is capable of bowling the ball so slowly, that it could be passed of as entering the matrix briefly. A true club hero and fine creator of some of the wonderful decks the Foresters play on. 

An incredibly strong return for the Sunday XI left Si picking up 50s at will. A very orthodox and relaxed stroke play has often left him being begged at to play Saturday cricket.. to no avail. A Strikingly similar resemblance to his brother has even left his poor old father confused and this is rumored to have led to Gareth claiming his brothers average of 35... Hopefully all the continued pressure to return to the Saturday cricket scene will eventually push S-Day to crumble